What Do You Want?

I've been experiencing a sort of spiritual drought lately. It's not like I'm going crazy or not caring about my faith or anything. It's just that I haven't felt my faith alive. I know God is there and I know everything in my life is a blessing. However, the daily grind and monotony of life can make it hard to experience it. Maybe I'm lacking in Hope. Who knows? Still, its times like these where one should take their own advice. I once told someone else who was experiencing this that spiritual dryness is like that "side-stitch" pain you feel in your side sometimes when you run. The only way to get through it is to keep running.By running through it, the pain will subside and you will actually increase your performance. So my advice that I need to take...keep running. Persevere. Persist. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
On another note, I think I'm ready for a change (no...not the Obama type of change =P..sorry Poli Sci nerd here speaking...). I just need a change of pace or something. A new job maybe? A new hobby? A new way of doing things? I don't know. Just some kind of change would be nice. Maybe its this whole sciatica thing thats been getting me down lately...I mean literally waking up in pain everyday doesn't really brighten one's life. However, suffering (both physical and emotional/spiritual) is a blessing to be embraced.
I think something really clicked at the last Guys Night at St. Paul...we were talking about how we know all we need to know concerning faith, but its all about what you want that determines your choices and the direction your life takes. I was reminded of the story where the beggar ran through a crowd screaming Jesus' name just to get His attention when everyone else was trying to stop the man. Jesus turned to the man and just asked him.."What do you want?" I don't know what I want. If Jesus asked me that right now, I wouldn't know what to ask for. Maybe thats what it is...I have all the tools at my disposal and all the graces one could hope for, but you need to know what you want in order to make the right choices and ultimately be happy. Until you know what you want, you can't even begin to understand who you are.