Monday, October 27, 2008

Insight

So this past weekend I met a guy who really inspired me...not just because he's a Youth Minister, but because he's an awesome human being. He has such a joy for life that it's contagious. Read a few words and see why he's one of the people I truly respect and look up to now:

"Imagine you are gifted. You have an amazing ability to play the piano. Your talent is unmatched by 95% of the world.

Here is the problem: no one will ever play the piano for you. They say things like, "Oh. I could never play the piano for YOU. You are so talented…I'd just embarrass myself." The thing is…you aren't looking for a performance…you just want to see a little part of their heart. You just want them to try…and you LOVE it when they try.

Have you ever done that? "Oh. I could never…you are so much more…so much better…I'm sorry…I'd just embarrass myself."

I wonder if God feels like that piano player.

He loves you perfectly - and He asks you to love Him in return. …and I'm guessing He gets a whole bunch of stuttering and stammering apologies. "I could never speak for you. I could never write for you. I could never sing for you. I could never play for you. I could never dance for you. I could never live for you…after all…You are so much more than I am…You are so much better."

…but God isn't looking for a performance. He just wants your heart. He just wants you to try…and He LOVES it when you try."




"So yesterday I was working away in my office when the maintenance men walked by my door and laughed as they said, "Well…Jennifer is gonna have a rough day. Her truck has a flat tire." They just kept laughing and walking… Not cool. Jennifer drives an Excursion (BIG truck) and she is not the tire-changing type. Someone had to do something…and that someone…was me.

I told her about the tire and got her keys…and about 30 minutes later…her truck was ready to roll. Tire on a big truck changed. Grubby hands. Jeans covered in soot. Teeshirt covered with an assortment of oil and grease marks. …I was THE MAN!.

Then…I remembered about six months back. My friend Billie Sue called me from the middle of the Arizona desert. She was on the highway from Phoenix to Tucson when her tire blew. "David to the rescue!!!"

So…I get there and attempt to use the jack to lift her truck and change the tire (and be the hero). Well…the truck was on just the slightest of inclines and the jack tipped…and the truck fell on the axle. That is when Billie Sue called the REAL roadside assistance…they showed up…and finished the job I couldn't.

I didn't feel like much of a man that day.

Sometimes…when my prayer life is in order and I am feeling strong in my walk with God - I can start to feel like a real man of God. …but in those times when I get a little too sure of myself…I need to recall (just for a moment) mistakes I have made…what a fool I can be sometimes…and then I remember…

I am not just a man of God…but also…a man desperately in need God."
-dl

Rejuvenated

I had an experience this past weekend that I don't think anything has ever compared to. I am rejuvenated.

The retreat that I helped out with in Arizona was something else. I've learned so much from these teens and I love them to death. I'll be praying for them and can't wait to join them again in March.

Glory be!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Life is Good



Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Reeds driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good


I've been stressing out a lot lately. More so than I have in a while. However, I woke up this morning and, despite all the craziness and hustle of things, I was happy. Genuinely happy. It's ironic because today is the day I had the most to stress about considering I didn't know I had a midterm today until half an hour before I was supposed to leave (keep in mind I haven't done any of the reading for this class and the lectures teach me nothing). With that weighing over my head and uncompleted work (both school and my part-time job) I was still happy. Maybe I'm crazy, but I have no worries. Seriously..hakuna matata! It makes life so much better.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Dazed

We used to do a skit on retreat where people representing sins would circle around a girl and run around her creating a climactic whirlwind. I feel like I'm enveloped in something like that right now. Not necessarily trapped by sin, but I feel like I am in the center of a whirlwind of factors: school, work, ministry, clubs, friends, family and just trying to get some alone time for myself. I don't think I have enough hours in a day. In this whirlwind I feel like I'm losing focus, getting worn out, dazed and confused. On top of that is the myriad of options that face me after I graduate..."What are you going to do after you graduate?" I hear this question almost every week now either from my parents, friends, co-workers or random people that I meet when they find out I'm a fourth year. I DON'T KNOW! I have so many plans, doors opening for me, people pushing and pulling me in several directions...discernment is necessary.
On top of that, insecurities creep up on me every now and then...yes I do have them. Lately, some insecurities have been getting at me..slowly eating away at me. I fight them off, but they become nuisances and when I'm tired they can be killer. It's mainly about some the quality of my life these past years, my capabilities, etc. I really need sleep. I need rest...no time for it though.
On a lighter note, I've had to take the place of the receptionist at work since she's been out sick for the past 3 weeks. She claims to have Bronchitis, but the other day an agent told me she was really at a fat camp and had already lost 75 pounds. I laughed first thinking he was joking, but he seemed pretty serious. I don't know if its true or not. I just don't want to be receptionist anymore. BLAH!