Happy Advent!

It's been a crazy month and a half...but hopefully the hustle will soon be over. I've been running on very minimal sleep for the past month, living off red bull and 5 hour shots, and surviving on a tight budget. The past four weekends consisted of 3 retreats and a hectic Thanksgiving break. It amazes me how I haven't just completely crashed already. I know that the main thing that keeps me going is my faith. This past weekend on retreat I was reminded of this:

"Nothing is more practical
than finding God,
that is, than falling in love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination,
will affect everything.

It will decide
what will get you out
of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read,
who you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you
with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything."

Pedro Arrupe, S.J.
former Superior General
Society of Jesus

Some people wonder how I never really stress out or go crazy during times like these. It's because I don't think I've ever felt more fulfilled and moved than I do now. This has been a very frustrating, confusing and yet peaceful journey for me these past few months. I really don't know what I'm going to do after I graduate, but I know that I am more open to the Spirit than I've ever been. That is what brings me comfort and gives me hope that whatever happens, I'm being led down the right path. Despite all the uncertainty, I am at peace that God has plans for me. I'm slowly and slowly learning to trust more. This past weekend on retreat, I was given this Bible verse "at random" (I put this in quotes because I know it was just another reminder from God)

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the Lord, and I will change your lot; I will gather you together from all the nations and all the places to which I have banished you, says the Lord, and bring you back to the place from which I have exiled you.
-Jeremiah 29:11-14

I've heard these word before, but they been more true to me now than ever before. This is why I am at peace. I am happy and blessed to have spent my 21st birthday with Jesus on retreat. Great times. Thanks to all for the birthday greetings. It really made my weekend!

In other news, I found this rendition of my favorite Christmas song. Check it out and watch it all the way through. I promise it's worth it! Happy Advent everyone!

Advent Conspiracy / It Could Happen to You

I think it's sad that right after Halloween season, the media immediately goes into Christmas-consumerism mode. What about Thanksgiving?!?! Does it not at least deserve a mention? Granted that, yes, everyday should be a day of thanksgiving, but every season should be a season of joy and giving, too! All I'm saying is don't undermine Thanksgiving just because there's less money surrounding it (unless you count Black Friday). However, while we are on the topic of Christmas consumerism, I thought this video was interesting. I got this from Katrina Sacramento's post on Ed Noriega's wall:




On a lighter note. I thought this was funny:

American Prayer

This is it. The day has come. No matter how you vote, who you support, what propositions you stand by, this day is a historic day. I can't lie: I feel a sense of excitement over today. It is no secret which Presidential candidate I support. However, I'm not going to go on a political rant about who or what to vote for nor why we should vote certain ways. Instead I ask you all to pray with me in a very special way. I'm offering my vote up as a form of prayer. Not just for Democrats or their supporters, but for all of America. Prayer for justice, unity, peace, life, and love. I love America, but I know that the dignity of human life extends beyond national boundaries or political motivations. May we always be united first and foremost as one human race despite nationality, political affiliation, race, ethnicity, gender, religion, age, etc. Above all I want my vote to be a prayer for Hope. That is something I believe we, not as a nation but as a world, need more than anything else. I don't mean "hope" in the terms of optimism or inspiration. I mean Hope in the terms of the theological virtue. That desire for a happiness that surpasses anything this world has to offer; for something greater than ourselves. That desire is what will inspire real change not just in our politics, but in our day-to-day lives. Whoever our next President may be, whoever our Congressional leaders are, whoever our state legislators are, may they be filled with Hope. May we all be filled with Hope. November 4th, 2008: the day that ushers in a new era. Here we go. God bless America!

Amen.

Insight

So this past weekend I met a guy who really inspired me...not just because he's a Youth Minister, but because he's an awesome human being. He has such a joy for life that it's contagious. Read a few words and see why he's one of the people I truly respect and look up to now:

"Imagine you are gifted. You have an amazing ability to play the piano. Your talent is unmatched by 95% of the world.

Here is the problem: no one will ever play the piano for you. They say things like, "Oh. I could never play the piano for YOU. You are so talented…I'd just embarrass myself." The thing is…you aren't looking for a performance…you just want to see a little part of their heart. You just want them to try…and you LOVE it when they try.

Have you ever done that? "Oh. I could never…you are so much more…so much better…I'm sorry…I'd just embarrass myself."

I wonder if God feels like that piano player.

He loves you perfectly - and He asks you to love Him in return. …and I'm guessing He gets a whole bunch of stuttering and stammering apologies. "I could never speak for you. I could never write for you. I could never sing for you. I could never play for you. I could never dance for you. I could never live for you…after all…You are so much more than I am…You are so much better."

…but God isn't looking for a performance. He just wants your heart. He just wants you to try…and He LOVES it when you try."




"So yesterday I was working away in my office when the maintenance men walked by my door and laughed as they said, "Well…Jennifer is gonna have a rough day. Her truck has a flat tire." They just kept laughing and walking… Not cool. Jennifer drives an Excursion (BIG truck) and she is not the tire-changing type. Someone had to do something…and that someone…was me.

I told her about the tire and got her keys…and about 30 minutes later…her truck was ready to roll. Tire on a big truck changed. Grubby hands. Jeans covered in soot. Teeshirt covered with an assortment of oil and grease marks. …I was THE MAN!.

Then…I remembered about six months back. My friend Billie Sue called me from the middle of the Arizona desert. She was on the highway from Phoenix to Tucson when her tire blew. "David to the rescue!!!"

So…I get there and attempt to use the jack to lift her truck and change the tire (and be the hero). Well…the truck was on just the slightest of inclines and the jack tipped…and the truck fell on the axle. That is when Billie Sue called the REAL roadside assistance…they showed up…and finished the job I couldn't.

I didn't feel like much of a man that day.

Sometimes…when my prayer life is in order and I am feeling strong in my walk with God - I can start to feel like a real man of God. …but in those times when I get a little too sure of myself…I need to recall (just for a moment) mistakes I have made…what a fool I can be sometimes…and then I remember…

I am not just a man of God…but also…a man desperately in need God."
-dl

Rejuvenated

I had an experience this past weekend that I don't think anything has ever compared to. I am rejuvenated.

The retreat that I helped out with in Arizona was something else. I've learned so much from these teens and I love them to death. I'll be praying for them and can't wait to join them again in March.

Glory be!

Life is Good

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Reeds driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

I've been stressing out a lot lately. More so than I have in a while. However, I woke up this morning and, despite all the craziness and hustle of things, I was happy. Genuinely happy. It's ironic because today is the day I had the most to stress about considering I didn't know I had a midterm today until half an hour before I was supposed to leave (keep in mind I haven't done any of the reading for this class and the lectures teach me nothing). With that weighing over my head and uncompleted work (both school and my part-time job) I was still happy. Maybe I'm crazy, but I have no worries. Seriously..hakuna matata! It makes life so much better.

Dazed

We used to do a skit on retreat where people representing sins would circle around a girl and run around her creating a climactic whirlwind. I feel like I'm enveloped in something like that right now. Not necessarily trapped by sin, but I feel like I am in the center of a whirlwind of factors: school, work, ministry, clubs, friends, family and just trying to get some alone time for myself. I don't think I have enough hours in a day. In this whirlwind I feel like I'm losing focus, getting worn out, dazed and confused. On top of that is the myriad of options that face me after I graduate..."What are you going to do after you graduate?" I hear this question almost every week now either from my parents, friends, co-workers or random people that I meet when they find out I'm a fourth year. I DON'T KNOW! I have so many plans, doors opening for me, people pushing and pulling me in several directions...discernment is necessary.
On top of that, insecurities creep up on me every now and then...yes I do have them. Lately, some insecurities have been getting at me..slowly eating away at me. I fight them off, but they become nuisances and when I'm tired they can be killer. It's mainly about some the quality of my life these past years, my capabilities, etc. I really need sleep. I need rest...no time for it though.
On a lighter note, I've had to take the place of the receptionist at work since she's been out sick for the past 3 weeks. She claims to have Bronchitis, but the other day an agent told me she was really at a fat camp and had already lost 75 pounds. I laughed first thinking he was joking, but he seemed pretty serious. I don't know if its true or not. I just don't want to be receptionist anymore. BLAH!